How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
