no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
