So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
