Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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