You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
