u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
