Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
