Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
