Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
