i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
