Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just tell him i said nine months
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
