Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
