Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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