Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize