At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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