I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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