2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
