Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My liver just had a heart attack.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
