Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
