im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
