now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Let's get the cat blown out
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize