I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
