i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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