I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize