Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize