i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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