i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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