I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
