dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
