Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
