Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
