So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize