I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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