so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
