I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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