drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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