The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
