Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
