ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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