Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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