the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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