With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize