I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
