why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
