its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize