You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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