oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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