Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
