I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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