someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think people are normalizing furries
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
