He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
