I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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