Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
