I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
