I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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