I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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